I am at the brink of losing all my good relationships due to this thing called ego. Did not realise when it completely engulfed me. Scarily, it is going out of its limit and is overtaking my best self.
This year, on my birthday, I removed my four best friends from childhood from my Facebook and other social media just because they did not wish me. One of them did, but was late. I got angry and hurt that they do not remember me or my birthday as they were back in my country and I am studying overseas. Now, I regret. Even though I should be reaching out to them but my ego, again is holding me back. I am afraid of their questions and what they will think of me.
And today, I literally forced myself to take a moment, after I rejected taking a lift from a very close person who saw me waiting for the bus, just because I fought with that person in the morning. My expectations was that, I would be insulted inside the car, but my stupid fake self did not realise that even though I was the one who insulted and poked that person for something which was not that person’s fault, I was offered a lift by that person out of kindness and out of love for me. I admire that person deeply for bringing out the true self rather than being swallowed by this evil monster I call ego. (Yes, I know, too much “person” used but the identity will be revealed in the future.)
Anyways, hence I decided to start a war between my true self and my fake self which is called ego. I cleared my head and took out my diary and wrote a letter to myself. I wrote out my problems and made a list of all the major mistakes I have done in my life and where I regret. Then I congratulated myself for making those mistakes as this will help me tackle those problems in the future.
Hopefully my true self will win and I will let go of my ego.