Remember how I said in my last posts that I have completely given up on studies?
Yes I did, but the last few days I had this guilt of just giving up and thus I started giving little time everyday to sit with the subject I have. Even though, at first it seemed completely bizarre, the explanations, the theorems etc. Later on, as I researched a bit and slowly started understanding, I could literally feel the interest coming back to me.
It felt amazing! This was a very big achievement for me!
Then I studied for the class test and gave my best in it, so no regrets. After that, I had an assignment of which the first part was done by my brilliant group mate but the second part had to be done individually. I completely lost my hope in programming as I did not have practice for a long time. Then my friend literally forced to sit and study and to try something.
I started at exactly 12:30 pm. Did a lot of research, searched the internet and finally I could feel an idea coming up in my head, just like a dimming light bulb, we see in cartoons but way dimmer. Anyways, so after a complete day long of concentration on the assignment, I finally finished it at exactly 9 pm in one sitting, without eating or doing anything distracting. I was utterly shocked at myself for finishing that.
The thing that I stamped in my head to be impossible, I did tackle that and achieved my concentration on studies back! With these little achievements, I can finally realise the pressure and the stress lifting up from me. I am finally recovering from those horrible thoughts of giving up.